While others my age were out having fun, I was diving into books on Psychology, Theosophy, Philosophy, Personal Development, and Spirituality. I'd steal moments from my studies to read about these things that intrigued me. By 23, right before I moved to Australia, I had a box of journals and workbooks and had read over 150 odd books. - Still lost as ever.
As I turned 30, my search for answers became even more intense. I tried everything I could think of to find healing and understanding. I dove into practices like Yoga, Self-hypnosis, Positive Affirmations, Meditations, Reiki, Energy Healing, Talk therapy, NLP, Breathwork, and even Past-life Regression. I saw a bunch of psychics and intuitives, and at one point, I thought Ayurveda might hold the key. I even tried psychedelics, hoping they could show me the way. The irony was that I felt so alone in this that no one knew what my inside self was feeling. It looked like my outside self was going places; if you had seen me then, I would have looked really happy.
But despite all these efforts, I reached a point where I felt lost and confused about the meaning of my life. It was a really tough time. My life had hit an existential crisis.
Meet Parag
The Long Story
I wish I had a typical story where I could say my career as a corporate banker or a serial entrepreneur was reaching its zenith and that I had realised I was deeply & utterly unhappy. I wish I could say that I had a wealth of conventional success and privileges but felt dead inside & pondered if there was something more to life when one day, the piano of wisdom fell on my head, and I found my way.
On the contrary, my story is different. Ever since I was 20, I've had a deep sense of "I have been here, and done that." I've felt strongly that something beneath the surface controlled my actions and my choices—call it my hidden programming. It wasn't like a lightbulb moment where suddenly everything made sense. Instead, I was caught in a cycle: recognising my patterns but not knowing how to break free from them. Life felt like experiencing the same thing over and over again, like tasting the same flavor again and again.
It was like a puzzle I was trying to solve, trying to understand the deeper layers of myself. I'd spend hours pouring my thoughts onto paper, journaling almost every day from the ages of 15 to 18.
“Until here, I had lived my life head-first, making choices based on facts instead of feelings. Giving more importance to my thoughts rather than my intuitions. I was completely disconnected from my body, dissociated from my feelings, living only in my head, disconnected from the rest of me.”
How my journey began
Having come to a point where nothing had worked for me, I wasn't looking forward to another session; in all honesty, When I first started working with self-healing tools, I was even more convinced it was a waste of time; since my trauma therapist looked like all the psychologists & talk therapists I had worked with, (speak of reliving trauma).
As my session began, I was sitting with my arms crossed on the chair, I started telling my therapist everything I was angry about my life, all the resentment I felt, and was sharing how frustrating it was, how helpless I was, etc. To that she said, "Great, you have told me you are angry, frustrated, helpless etc - now can you show me where is that anger, resentment? Where do you feel that in your body?.
That was the weirdest question anyone had ever asked me, yet after all my seeking, it should have been a simple one to answer, I thought to myself. - But I couldn't feel a thing.
And so it began..
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“That is when it hit me ! all this time I had resided solely in my head, disregarding my body's needs. I had avoided confronting uncomfortable emotions, using food as a shield and numbing agent. My focus was on 'fixing' my perceived physical, mental, environmental, and spiritual flaws rather than embracing my whole being, I was a pretty gone case. Growing up, I actually believed that being unable to feel was a superpower. ”
Modern Neuroscience
“Emotions are the source of our consciousness.”
Modern Neuroscience
“The mind is only a rendered virtual reality of the body’s experience.”
“Healing is not theoretical. It is experiential”.
Quote Source
Unfortunately, The Aha! moments that come from reading about Healing do not bring us Healing. It only brings recognition and awareness of the issues.
It was like, I was handed the keys to a Ferrari, and there was no way I'd waste it on a mundane grocery run. Instead, I did what I'd yearned for all along—I threw myself into it, dedicated over six years of my life to working with the self-healing tools, unraveling the tangled web of lies I had spun for myself, and bringing to light all those forgotten fragments of myself. It was an exhilarating journey, to say the least!
In the past six years, I've learned that true healing doesn't come from external sources but from within. While external factors can create a healing environment, real transformation relies on allowing our body's innate wisdom to take control. This means letting go of resistance and embracing whatever arises, as it's better to release than to suppress.
Genuine change only occurs when we surrender to this inner process.
My mission is to show you how to self-heal so you can experience the mind-body connection.
“Let’s say we can reach a point where we realise the purpose of life is to experience it. That is, of course, after we are done trying to understand, change, conquer, or liberate from it.
How did you think we were going to experience life? other than feeling it all”.
Chat with me
I don’t have all the answers, but I promise to do my best & listen, understand your goals, and offer insights tailored to your unique path.
